Dearest Gentle Reader,
It has come to this author’s utmost attention that a certain event of great speculation is approaching: the senior promenade—or “prom,” as it so may be called. Regarding this, I feel it is most appropriate to share my reflections of the junior promenade with you, my dear reader, so that you may be so informed for the upcoming diversion.
During the weeks prior to the junior promenade, I observed some rather peculiar behaviors. Whilst the venue and culinary offerings were of importance to a considerable number of attendees, the dilemma of securing an eligible partner seemed to be the paramount concern for the aforementioned demographic.
I have caught word of numerous “promposals” from the junior class. Some gentlemen attracted their partners with a plethora of flowers and sweets, while others approached their interests with a handcrafted sign in the library. One man simply posed the question with a sign that read “PROM?” My dear readers, now where is the fun in that?! It’s a rather good thing that this young man complemented such a mundane proposal with a bouquet of pastel florals, for if he did not, I dare say this author would have downright rejected the boy for a lack of demonstrated interest!
A few suitors went above and beyond, including one who took his prospective partner all the way to a baseball stadium, where he facilitated a prompt emblazoned upon the grand screen. Another young man performed a rather cheeky play on words with the assistance of a “U-Haul” truck. Clever, indeed!
But I do say, I was rather surprised by the amount of gentlemen that sought after ladies of the slightly older “senior” ranking. Could it be, dear reader, that the newest prized jewel is to captivate the attentions of a senior girl? It seems there is nothing more socially preeminent than to waltz through the grand entrance on the day of the promenade beside a gentlelady who is mere weeks away from graduating from this very institution.
Or, perhaps, it is an even greater vaunt to bring a guest from outside the establishment entirely. This author finds it most necessary to note the few young ladies realized that there simply are not a plethora of viable options within this institution. It could be wiser, then, to retire from the chase of finding a match within the walls of this academy and instead to venture outward to tread in new waters.
Besides, nothing truly captures the attentions of one’s peers like the sight of a mystery partner. Good heavens! May I assure my senior audience, one might be the talk of the town should they arrive beside a tall, handsome young man whom not a soul can put a name to!
Might I suggest, dear seniors, if there is a particular person or group of whom you wish to make jealous, that you may bring a guest that is not a romantic partner at all? Why, if they are unknown to the population within our own establishment, who is to know the difference between a love match and a cousin? It seems plausible, if not ingenious, to bring a mere family acquaintance, or even a relative, in hopes of attracting the utmost attention of one’s gossip-hungry peers. Dearest reader, if you do take such a scheming route, be sure to present yourself with them as nothing but completely smitten. Do not dare to glance at the one whom you had hoped to go with, for I can assure you they are already unable to keep their own eyes off you! After all, dear reader, it is said that the greatest revenge is indifference.
But keep your eyes peeled, for it is when such promenades rapidly approach that individuals begin to make questionable matches. Why is it that some people are so desperate to boast that they have a date that they are willing to go with just about anyone? I do say, I would rather venture alone than be forced to spend the night beside someone I hardly know or like. Is it truly worth the sacrifice of having a decent time just so one may post a photo on Instagram?
This author finds it rather silly to scramble for a date solely for the title. Pray tell, is it so villainous to go solitary? What has become of independence, dignity and confidence? One should not need to be searching for a partner. They should either couple up naturally or not at all. After all, while it may feel like everyone is going with a date besides you, the reality is on the contrary. It is vitally important to keep in mind that a multitude of the attendees are single.
So, as the awaited night for the seniors is nigh, I challenge you, my dear reader, to truly consider your next actions and move forward with deliberation and caution. If it is your duty to prompose, go on then, and do it properly! Even if your date insists they wish for no grand gesture, I assure you that you cannot go wrong with a lovely sign. And if there is not yet someone to whom you are promised, be wary as to whether going with someone at all will truly add to your happiness. Or, if you are feeling dubious, you can always ask a gentlelady in another class!
Well then! This author can but hardly conceal her excitement. I hope to see you at the senior promenade!
Sincerely,
Lady Knightingale
