Whether they smell great or not, the school’s bathrooms are a place of refuge for those seeking a brief reset during a seemingly endless class. The Vanguard’s Editorial Board reviewed each location in the school for when you find yourself in dire need of a “bathroom break.” Thanks to the fantastic facilities team that works tirelessly to keep these bathrooms clean and functional!

Girls’ bathroom in Renaissance Hall

The girls’ Renaissance Hall bathroom reigns supreme—a true renaissance in the art of school restrooms. I’d love to tell you it’s dreadful to keep the masses away, but I must share this hidden gem. Like the great minds of the Renaissance, this bathroom is ahead of its time. The toilets actually flush, a marvel considering the school’s ongoing plumbing crisis. The stall doors offer privacy, so there’s no accidental eye contact through awkward gaps. The lighting? Slightly dim yet atmospheric compared to the fluorescent, interrogation-style lighting in other bathrooms. At the entrance, a table is a convenient resting place for one’s phone or bag. The air is breathable. Would I traverse all the halls to reach this restroom? Without a doubt. The girls’ Renaissance Hall restroom is a beacon of hope—an enlightened space in the otherwise medieval world of school bathrooms. —Lea Von Hilgers ’25

Boys’ bathroom in Renaissance Hall

The best boys’ bathroom in the entire school, the Renaissance Hall bathroom features one regular-sized stall, one accessible stall, and three urinals. The stalls are roomy, providing enough space to close the door behind you without having to awkwardly push yourself against the wall. The urinals have dividers, giving users the privacy they deserve while conducting their business. The circular wall from the stairwell creates a distinctive character the other, rectangular bathrooms wish they had. Unlike the other bathrooms where the faucets were tragically replaced with stingy, push-button ones, the two sinks have remained gloriously automatic and flowing with water. The paper towel dispenser and trash can are conveniently near the door, so if you don’t like touching the door handles, you can open the door with a paper towel, toss the paper towel in the trash, and exit without having to frantically throw out your foot. —Yancheng Zhao ’26

Boys’ bathroom near the Commons

The boys’ bathroom near the Commons … is probably one of the worst in the school. The doors have huge gaps, causing close-to-zero privacy. Additionally, people are constantly roaming in and out of the bathroom, creating discomfort among users. The school has replaced the old automatic sinks with push faucets that do not turn off until a minute after use. For positives, the bathroom is clean, and the urinals have dividers. Another upside is bigger stalls and extra sinks, which are helpful in such a busy area. The two potted plants also help with the overall vibe. Close to an exit to the parking lot, the location of this bathroom is admittedly ideal. —Doug Zhang ’25

Boys’ bathroom in the Math Wing

While one might expect the Math Wing’s intellectual prowess to lead to superior facilities, this bathroom’s problems begin before you enter. Adjacent to the teachers’ lounge, two staircases, and classrooms, its location is terrible. During the inter-block commute, it is impossible to push through the coagulating crowds. Once you enter, the stalls practically beckon you to take refuge. Yet, be warned: The locks can be opened from the outside. Whether this is a safety measure or a design flaw, we may never know. Manage to squeeze your way to the urinals? Be prepared for no dividers and urinals separated by mere inches. Then there’s the lack of proper ventilation. The bathroom is subjected to the extremes of every season—the bitter chill of winter, the wind gusts of spring and fall, and the crippling heat of summer. Are there any silver linings? The accessible stall feels like a luxury hotel suite compared to the rest of the bathroom, complete with a coat hanger, a wall separating it from the other stalls, and even a small closet. —Beckett Dubovik ’25

Girls’ bathroom in the Science Wing

You may be aware of the girls’ bathroom on the second floor in the Science Wing without ever stepping foot inside. Yes, that smell is coming from the bathroom—not a science experiment gone wrong. Located behind the Drama Room near the back staircase, this two-stall bathroom is remote enough for some privacy and quieter than the busy Renaissance Hall or Math Wing bathrooms. Well, on second thought, privacy might not be the right word. If the first stall is occupied, you will be making eye contact with the user upon entering the bathroom. On the bright side, maybe this bathroom is another opportunity to build communKnighty, even if in an unconventional way. While this may not be the best bathroom in the traditional sense, it is the only one attempting to carry out this year’s missions of community and connection. —Kate Rice ’25

Girls’ bathroom near the Commons

The girls’ bathroom next to the Commons was once devoted to Dobby the elf from “Harry Potter”: One of the stalls was transformed into a shrine, featuring pictures and notes. These days, it’s more of a social hub, especially in the mornings before school. Hair straighteners and makeup bags clutter the counter, and securing an empty sink is a struggle. Despite being one of the busiest bathrooms, it remains impressively clean. The facilities team does a great job of keeping it fresh and tidy. The bathroom also features a table to put your bag down in a convenient spot. Because of its location, many visitors use this one, leaving a first impression on prospective families. Whether you’re planning your day, seeing an Upper School bathroom for the first time, or actually need a bathroom break, the girls’ bathroom near the Commons is the spot. —Emilia Khoury ’25

Girls’ bathroom in the Math Wing

Whether you’re losing it over an integral or someone just called you an ugly chicken, the Math Wing girls’ bathroom is ideal. At the end of the bathroom’s uncomfortably-skinny walkway sits the accessible stall, which is unusually large and, besides the suspiciously-wide gap on the left side of the door, perfect for a restroom-visit-turned-scrolling break. The makeshift vanity has the best lighting of any bathroom in the Upper School, which makes for an ideal touch-up area—after all, natural lighting is the best lighting. This bathroom has one unsolved mystery: the miniscule door to the left of the entryway. What’s behind it? A hidden passageway to the teachers’ lounge? A secret stash of college counseling candy? Any bathroom placed in the Math Wing needs to be impressive in order to accommodate a large number of student “bathroom breaks,” and this one certainly does the job well. —Sonja Peetz-Larsen ’26

Girls’ bathroom near the Fishbowl

If the slight stench or the cramped layout isn’t discouraging, then an “Out of Order” sign slapped on a privacy divider will be. Around the corner from the Fishbowl, this bathroom is convenient for Community Room meetings, lunch at the front of the Commons, and some history and language classrooms. Yet, the bathroom is often closed for days or even weeks. While the detour to another restroom seems short, extra time away from friends and the classroom adds up. When the Fishbowl bathroom does work, its door opens to a tight hallway, compact stalls, and a musty smell. Two people can barely squeeze by each other, and a collision is inevitable since the sinks are placed beyond the stalls. The spacious sink area is the one highlight—featuring a long mirror along the back wall and a table for backpacks. Don’t worry about the narrow hall and the odor right now, though, because (as of publication) the Fishbowl bathroom is closed again. —Kate Martin ’25