As the waning sun dipped below the horizon, Eli Kesselheim ’29 lit glowing candles on the table laden with a braided challah and a glistening silver kiddush cup. Joined by the 70 other attendees, 18 students from the Lower School, Middle School (MS), and Upper School (US) led the room in singing the Shabbat blessings and Oseh Shalom, a prayer for peace.
Organized by Co-Chairs Jamie Wacks P ’29 ’32, Dara Kesselheim P ’27 ’29 ’32, and Emily Cooper P ’26 ’28, the Jewish Affinity Group (JAG) hosted its third biannual Shabbat dinner in the MS Big Room on Oct. 18.
Shabbat, the weekly Jewish holiday that begins on Friday night, creates a sense of unity among the Jewish community and invites weekly reflection and family time, Ms. Wacks said.
“One of the things that is special about Shabbat is that no matter where you go in the world, Jewish people know about Shabbat, and it makes us feel connected to each other. It’s a nice way to end the week, take a breath, spend time with family, and have some joy.”
US Director Jessica Keimowitz and Head of School Jennifer Price have regularly attended JAG’s Shabbat dinners. Ms. Wacks said the leadership team’s attendance at these dinners highlights their commitment to supporting the school’s Jewish community.
“It shows that the school’s leadership thinks it’s important to have these events and to attend these events,” she said. “And it shows that these are meaningful opportunities for students and families to get together. Having leadership there is phenomenal and really valuable. It underscores that this is a part of the core mission of the school to celebrate different affinity groups and to share those differences with people outside of our groups, as well.”
JAG’s first Shabbat dinner, which was planned months in advance, was held in late October of last year. Within the same week on October 7, the day on which terrorist group Hamas attacked Israel, reigniting a now year-long conflict. Consequently, many of the first dinner’s attendees used the event as a space to process the attack with other Jewish people, Ms. Wacks said. Over the last two dinners, attendance by non-Jewish community members has been steadily growing, lending support to the Jewish community that continues to grapple with the challenging environment post-October 7, she said.
“This year, we included and invited non-Jewish families to share the joy of Shabbat with others in our community,” Ms. Wacks said. “The Shabbat dinner happened to be a year after October 7, and I think coming together to be in community with Jews and non-Jews was important, given that the last year has been difficult for everyone. It was helpful to be supportive of each other.”
Ms. Kesselheim said JAG, in its second year as an official affinity group, has unified the school’s Jewish community while also welcoming those who are not Jewish to attend events and learn.
“I think JAG makes people feel comfortable and accepted in knowing that there are others with similar beliefs and values as them in this school community,” she said. “One thing I really like about BB&N is that the affinity spaces seem to be open and there for an educational purpose, teaching people who are not necessarily members of the group but who want to be allies about those histories, traditions, and celebrations.”
While living in Israel for two years and watching the country pause each Friday and Saturday for Shabbat, Ms. Kesselheim sees the weekly holiday as a day of rest.
“In Israel, the whole country stops and rests,” she said. “You light candles at sundown, stores and schools close early, and people really pause between sundown on Friday and sundown on Saturday. Even though times have changed, and I don’t live in Israel anymore, I still think of Shabbat as a day of rest.”
Leo Saul ’28, who attended the dinner, values the importance of uniting Jewish students and families at Shabbat through their shared heritage, he said.
“Often, people have busy schedules, and Shabbat gives us the time for people to come together who identify similarly and celebrate their culture and identity. It’s important that, as Jewish people at a secular school, we come together as a community to celebrate with each other.”
US History Department Head and Jewish Cultural Club (JCC) Faculty Advisor Susan Glazer, who has attended two JAG Shabbat dinners, said she appreciates the school’s effort to make Jewish students feel welcome through the JCC and JAG. Jewish students can feel excluded or separate from mainstream white culture, she said.
“The school has identified that identity is core to belonging. Especially in challenging moments, having folks that might be in a similar place and who can offer support and check in with you is really helpful. While the majority of Jewish students at BB&N are Ashkenazi, of European origin, and white-passing, Jewish individuals can sometimes feel a part of majority white culture and also cannot.”
A year after October 7, Ms. Glazer acknowledged that spaces like the JCC and JAG can help Jewish students to feel heard and welcome, she said.
“I think that’s something that not everybody understands, that there are times when we feel a part of things, and there are times when we feel isolated, and I think October 7 created a real sense of vulnerability,” she said. “Knowing that there are others like you is comforting. I think the school is also committed to making people feel that they belong by recognizing diversity and that the Jewish community has its own experiences.”
JAG plans to host its next Shabbat dinner in April, which will be open to all members of the school community.
