PDA for all

As a BB&N student regularly roaming the school’s hallways, I’m disgusted to see happy couples prominently displaying their love for each other in plain sight of all passersby. Whether it be a head resting on a partner’s shoulder while doing work or simply an overly sensual sitting-next-to-each-other, such constant displays between classes or after sports, in secluded practice rooms or on couches in full view of the student body, make the majority of our school population quite uncomfortable. It’s enough to unsettle anyone.
Much like other similarly aged kids across the world, BB&N students do not like feeling left out. Although a snuggle or a hug may not seem like much to the offenders, other students cannot help but yearn for the same intimacy or affection those couples are broadcasting to the world.
To remedy this problem, I have a simple proposal: a school rule requiring all amorous couples to include all passing-by students in their affectionate endeavors. No longer will a student feel awkward or left out as he nears this group—he will be included in the cuddling as well! The glances of disgust that are so prevalent now will turn to looks of pure joy as everyone will feel accepted and loved.
The school will suddenly feel so much more welcoming and affectionate with this love that includes all students, not only a small group of them. Just think how much more eager people would be to come to school if they knew they would be loved and accepted by everyone, wherever in the building they might go. With the constant stress the community faces, especially during finals, this plan would both relieve negative emotions of jealousy and bolster student spirits in everyday interactions. The entire school would just be happier.
Single students would especially benefit. We all know that small friend groups can often be torn apart by a relationship happening within the group, but with this newly implemented rule, the group would suddenly be reunited, as both the couple as well as the rest of the friends would be required to engage in the festivities together.
Suddenly, couples that might have been shunned for their displays would be accepted as a vital part of the community. Previously looked upon as being an annoyance or nuisance in the hallways, they would now be admired for their positive influence in fostering community. They might lift the spirits of an entire class after a particularly bad test or brighten a teacher’s day after having to grade said tests. In any case, these previously looked-down-upon students would become the bearers of good feelings schoolwide.
Of course, naysayers will immediately object to this plan, claiming that some students may simply not want a hug as they go about their day-to-day lives. But such criticism could only come from those who have never had their day brightened with an impromptu cuddle session between F and A block at the end of a dreary Tuesday.
“What about pile-ups in the halls?” you may ask. Surely, such large congregations will clog needed traffic space. But fear not. Since such interactions normally happen on couches or other large areas where everyone can see, accommodating a few more people will pose no problem.
Others may say that having to stop in a hurried transition between classes for something such as a tender embrace would simply waste time. However, I contend that teachers and thus the general schedule would adapt, accommodating “feel good” sessions whenever they may happen. No amount of being on time for class could possibly match the elevation of spirits experienced from affectionate interactions.
Other solutions have been offered, such as requiring couples to display their affection for each other in more private places or simply limiting their interactions to keep them out of the way of other students. However, such proposals are obviously born of jealousy. Rather than turning against them because of their joy, my proposal includes them.
Until someone can come up with a more viable solution that benefits both the current offenders and the rest of the community, this plan should be implemented immediately.

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